CHICAGO, IL — Declaring victory after a successful round of wealth magick, one local practitioner confirmed this week that their financial situation has “dramatically improved,” immediately followed by a series of purchases described as “strategic reinvestments” into additional occult coursework.
“I did the rituals, I focused my intent, and money started flowing in,” said the magician, who requested anonymity but did insist their Venmo now has “a noticeably more mystical aura.” “Naturally, the next logical step was to spend all of it on becoming even more powerful.”
Friends report the practitioner’s initial success was modest but promising, leading to what insiders are calling “Phase Two: Curriculum Ascension,” beginning with offerings from Strategic Sorcery, run by Jason Miller.
“He told me, ‘If you want real results, you need structured training,’” the magician said, referencing courses that promise “life-changing results you can measure” through practical sorcery.
Within hours, the practitioner reportedly enrolled in multiple programs, including advanced training designed to explore “levels of reality” and long-term magical development—described by one observer as “a curriculum that lasts approximately the rest of your natural life.”
Not content with a single system, the magician then expanded into offerings from Practical Occult, citing a desire for “well-rounded spiritual diversification and also a course titled Cursing 101 that felt important.”
According to course descriptions, students can learn everything from defensive magic to “aggressive sorcery” aimed at solving life problems through direct action, including influencing bosses, landlords, and unspecified rivals.
“I’m not saying I need Boss Fix 101,” the practitioner clarified, “but it felt fiscally irresponsible not to have it.”
Sources close to the situation confirm a rapid cycle has now formed:
- Perform wealth magick
- Receive money
- Immediately allocate funds toward additional magical education
- Require more wealth magick
“It’s not a loop,” the magician insisted while downloading another course. “It’s a spiral. A financially demanding spiral.”
Experts in occult economics say the phenomenon is not uncommon. “There’s a belief that more knowledge equals more power,” said one analyst. “And more power equals more money. What we’re seeing is an ecosystem where money becomes knowledge, which becomes the need for more knowledge.”
The practitioner has reportedly begun justifying purchases using increasingly complex logic. “If one $60 class can improve my results,” they explained, “then six $60 classes should improve it six times. That’s just math. Magical math.”
At press time, the magician was seen reviewing their bank account, nodding thoughtfully, and preparing to perform another round of prosperity work “to cover an upcoming advanced course that will finally tie everything together.”
Sources confirm the course in question is described as “foundational,” “essential,” and “not included in any previous foundational or essential material.”
